My plan to be a loser...

April writing...

Not like this...

More like this...

I have many reasons...I have blogged about Dieting...and Exercising...but this time...it's not just about me...I mean...ugh...it hasn't just been about me in the past...but...I'm done. I want a child, and to do that, we have to do IVF. (unless my dear baby Jesus wants to work a miracle...we are always open to that!) So I need to lose weight...at least 25 pounds to start IVF...but I would love to lose 50+! I want to be healthier, I don't want heart problems, I don't want breathing problems, I would love to stop snoring at night, for my knees not to ache at the end of the night, for my belly to stop, well, 'dunloppin' over my pants. I want to wear cute clothes. I want to be sexy. I want to walk up stairs without getting out of breath. I want to have a baby. It's just....I want to be thinner...but I digress...I know I have said this all before.

*EDIT- For those of you wondering, the reason I have to lose weight for IVF is because the office I am with, it is their anesthesiologist rule regarding the related procedures. He likes the patients BMI to be 39 or lower. So that's why I have to lost the weight, cause I am over that BMI...unfortunately.

But I am going to do it!! And I have found some great tools to help me this time around, for FREE!

First off...Sparkpeople.com
It's FREE and it's AMAZING. I can track all of my food...just like on WW.com...but...for...FREE! See...

That's my info so far today...and see that Weekly Progress right above? That falls right in line with where I need to be to lose weight, per the Calorie/Weight Loss index.

"These results will help you to know how many calories you need to maintain your current weight, and the number of calories needed per day to achieve your goal weight in a healthy, steady manner.

You need 2364.6 calories per day to maintain your current weight without exercise. (NO THANKS...I wanna LOOOOOOSSEE!!)

You need 2151.9 calories per day to reach your goal weight slowly and maintain that weight without exercise.

If you reduce your current caloric intake to 1864.6 calories per day you will lose one pound per week without exercise.(This is what I am floating around, per Sparkpeople.com)

If you increase your current caloric intake to 2864.6 calories per day, you will gain one pound per week." (Nope...let's not do that!)

So there you have it....Doesn't seem to bad, I just need to chart my information (which I did religiously on weight watchers) and drop these pounds! I will keep you posted! Any encouragement and/or tips are greatly appreciated! Oh and if you wanna lose too...check out Sparkpeople.com and say that "Slickslady" sent ya! :)

Hit with tunes...

April writing...

So I had an awful dream last night...without going into detail, let's just say it had me waking up this morning with little hope of us ever having our own little one. I hoped in the shower and prayed. I remember God's promises and I know he will be faithful...

and I guess he just wanted to continue to remind me...all the way to work.

I had it on our local Christian radio station and almost back to back I heard the three songs below...if that's not a clear enough message...I don't know what is. (I will give you snippets of each of the songs, the parts that really spoke to me!)

Thank you God for being faithful!

Meredith Andrews "You're Not Alone"
"You're not alone, for I am here.
Let me wipe away your every fear.
My love, I've never left your side.
I have seen you through the darkest night,
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life,
All of your life "

Josh Wilson "Before the Morning"
"Would you dare, would you dare to believe.
That you still have a reason to sing,
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling...
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.
So hold on you gotta wait for the light,
Press on and just fight the good fight.
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling...
It’s just the dark before the morning."

and this one has a great message in the whole song...
"John Waller - While I'm Waiting"
"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You, Lord.
And I am hopeful.
I'm waiting on You, Lord.
Though it is painful, But patiently, I will wait.

I will move ahead, bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.
While I'm waiting, I will serve You.
While I'm waiting, I will worship.
While I'm waiting, I will not faint.
I'll be running the race, Even while I wait.

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You, Lord.
And I am hopeful.
I'm waiting on You, Lord.
Though it is painful, But patiently, I will wait.
Yes, I will wait."

I love it when God's sly like that... ;)

IVF Update

April writing...

I will keep this short and sweet for those that are wondering. About two weeks ago I spoke with the Nurse at my RE Doc's office and it wasn't great news, but it's news. We were really excited about starting IVF at the end of this month. Well, yet again...that has been postponed.

I am over their recommended BMI. So I need to lose at least 10-15 pounds before we can start IVF. So, for me it was a huge let down. Especially seeing as how I had at one point in 2007 lost 34 pounds. I have since gained it all back. A huge letdown to myself and to the IVF plans, but I know God is in control...and even in this situation...I have lessons to learn and there is a better time to start the IVF process for us.

So our chins are up, we have new plans and are continuing to trust God...and to eat better and exercise! :)

I haven't quite nailed down a solid eating/diet plan yet, but it is in the works. I am doing some research for the best aerobic and weight training that I need, and meal planning to decrease my calorie and fat intake.

So there you are...all updated on the IVF deal. One day right?? Gotta stay positive!

surely...

April writing...

You all hate me. Surely you do. Those of you who have routinely dropped by to see nothing since the 27th. I am sorry.

I just don't know what it is. I feel like the summer has gotten the best of me, and not necessarily in a good way.

I may have also picked a bad day to blog, cause it's pretty crappy today. Some may get this, others won't. Let me whine and be negative for a minute...

It's hot. I'm chunky. Not a good combo...thus I am having a fat day. This never makes a lady happy. It leads me to think sad/angry thoughts of letting myself gain all the weight back that I lost. While still sitting and not really doing anything about it. Doh!

I'm so ready for vacation it hurts. I am excited. I think that we are going to have a blast! I am ready for the beach...but then there's that subject (above) that creeps into my head...and of course I am affected by it yet again. Bathing suits. Need I say more?

We are busy and we have done it to ourselves...but I feel like I am on a treadmill and someone keeps jacking up the speed and I NEEDS to get OFF! I love everything that we are involved with...and I really wouldn't change a thing, I just know that I have slacked in my organization and I know that I have alot to do, but I am not runnin' my game like I should. I need to settle down, regroup, get organized and hit the calendar again.

I feel a bit unsettled. There are babies everywhere. Which I LOVE...but I am so ready for our own!!!! I got to hold two newborns yesterday...and seriously...Britt said it right...your arms ache. Mine most definitely did. I always tend to daydream after being around babies. What ours will look like, how they will smell, what personalities they will have, what I will dress them in, what fun things will I do with them? I am just so ready. Even though I know there is so much that I want to do first as well...losing weight (again), pay off debt, home improvement.

GOOD GRACIOUS.

It catches up to you...and it. just. becomes. all consuming.
So who knows...maybe all of that is why I haven't blogged.
Maybe it's because I am busy.
Or because I am sad.
Or because I want a baby.
Who knows.
Maybe I'll be better.
Maybe I won't.

Only.
time.
will.
tell.

I got baby snuggles...

April writing...

Sorry I came to blog empty handed...that is with NO pictures...but I still got to see Mr. Cole Thomas this morning! He was such a cute snuggly little guy. Manda did a great job and I am so proud of her...Tom looked like a beaming proud papa. I am so happy for the both of them!

Holding him made me REALLY ready for our own little one! In fact I may have gotten into the car and told Cory, "I want one." haha! And on that note, it looks like Cory and I will be starting IVF soon...I am REALLY excited...nervous...and I just have an overall sense of readiness. Especially given all the babies about to pop out! :)

I will keep you updated as much as I can. We are going to try and keep this process a little on the personal side, as to keep a potential + a surprise to family and friends. So prayers are greatly appreciated.

Congrats to Manda and Tom and good luck to future parents Dave and Goldie and Brandy and Dan who will have their little ones VERY soon! :)

more blah blah blah...

April writing...

Have I lost it? No?!?! It can't be?!!? Does anyone still READ this??? I mean like NO ONE comments (wink, wink!)

I just can't get behind my blog personality anymore...maybe I am just drained...but I feel like I have said this before. Oh well. Here's to random:

Last night's sunset was ahhhh-mazing. You will see a pic of that in next weeks 365 post...(which reminds me, I need to add last weeks 365 post...gotcha.)

I am healing quite nicely from my minor surgery, Cory is healing from the fact that he is now allergic to Penicillin. So...we are doing fine. *ha* Cory and I have also been taking part in the EA Sports Active 30-Day Challenge...need to do another post on that...gotcha! (See I guess if I think hard enough I can blog...need to put some pep in my bloggin' step!!!)

My grandpa is in town...what a funny dude...I heard something about him saying he was going to 'drop a douche'...pretty sure he meant 'duce' but even THAT'S still funny!!! He is looking more frail...but he has made it to (correct me if I am wrong Ma) 93?? That's saying something!!! Aunt Zelma was in town for a couple days and Aunt Sylvia has been with us over a week...although I think she headed out today, for her Campmeeting.

Gosh, so much...Bekah graduated...Kyle and Sarah spent some time in the hospital...well Kyle was the patient, but Sarah was by his side. (Read more about that on her Blog)

Now it's just onto the busy Summer schedule. Me personally, I am looking forward to some downtime...the pool...our vacation to Myrtle Beach (never been!)...and starting our IVF therapies.

Alot going on...and a whole 'lotta nothing at the same time!! Crazy how that works ehhh? I promise to do better...a blog a day for the next 7 days...think I can do it?? And I will make them worth reading too...promise. :P

My Husband Rocks Friday

April writing...

...for some reason I can't find the MHR logo...but I will blog anyways!

So my Husby rocks for taking SUCH good care of me today!

(So here I am at home...before we left...trying NOT to be nervous!)

I had my Hysteroscopy today. We had to head into Rockville at about 10am this morning (about an hour away.) So, 20 minutes or so into our ride, Cory looks at me and says, "Am I turning red?" I look over to him and he is like sunburn red.

(He apparently put on his best...'no, I'm not freaking out'...face.)

(Doesn't it look like a sunburn...my poor baby!)

He was like breaking out in this little red bumps and his eye was super bloodshot. Immediately I wasn't nervous anymore and went into 'nurse' mode...and I am not even a NURSE!!

(These were all over him...and they kept multiplying!)



(even some old scars were popping up...perfectly WHITE!)

I got on the phone with our Doctor's office to let them know what was happening. They told us that he could take some Benadryl and that he would be ok. So we pulled over and got some for him...and boy did it help. Within 15 minutes he was feeling MUCH better!

So we make it to the Surgery Center and I get all prepped...I felt great...wasn't really nervous at all!!

(Here's what his color SHOULD look like...still wintry pale...although he will soon be TAN...stinking Cali boy! Just not ALLERGIC REACTION RED!!! haha!)

(I have never felt sexier!)

Then, I came out of surgery...and I was STARVING. So they gave me some Ritz crackers...and uh, seriously. I have. never. had. such. good. crackers. They were amazing! Seriously. I kept telling Cory how GREAT they were...and then I got all giggly...like really giggly. haha! Cory was telling me that I needed to calm down or I was gonna be hurting haha. I blame it on the anesthesia...but it was a good laugh.

(and here I am post-op...flying high baby!)

So, as I mentioned earlier...Cory took care of me all day! Even after his own little adventure!!! Thanks baby for sticking with me during all this...I am sure we will be handsomely rewarded for our efforts VERY soon!

I LOVE YOU!!! (stay away from the penicillin!!)

polyps and bloating...STAT

April writing...

So tomorrow...I'm going under. I am having a Hysteroscopy. I am sure you are asking? What is that?! Well...so did I. haha! I got my answers from the Doc...but here are a few links to fill you in on the whaaaa?

http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysteroscopy
http://www.gynalternatives.com/hsc.htm
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/surgery/a/hysteroscopyqa.htm

So the long and short of it, is they are going to go in and take a look around my Uterus. We already know there are two relatively small polyps (hopefully no more) and they will be removing said polyps during this procedure.

The idea is that we are creating a better, more friendly environment for the embryos, when we start doing IVF therapies. Since we have recently found out that my tubes are blocked...either by scar tissue or even possibly by these polyps, we know that our next option is IVF.

I recovered pretty well from my Laparoscopy done a little over a year and half ago...so I am not worried about this procedure. I was uncomfy and I had some lovely bloating, but I have a great nurse in my dear Husby. So, hopefully I will be up and walking around by Saturday evening for Bekah's High School Graduation ceremony!!

We did find out yesterday that insurance DOES NOT cover freezing any leftover embryos, so we have some talking and decisions to make. Do we take out less eggs, only fertilize so many eggs, etc??

So, keep us in your prayers and I will update you on my recovery and the surgery probably Saturday at some point, probably no earlier!

You know what they say don't get drugged and blog. ;)

IVF.

April writing...

Our future with IVF.

So I went to my RE today.

Cory went with.

I had a Hystosonogram done. Doc found two polyps. Boo.

However, she did say that we are excellent candidates for IVF.

I have great egg #’s, Cory has great #’s.

We discussed our concerns and we were really informed on the ways of IVF.

Sooo…

It looks like within the next two months I will start my first IVF cycle.

I do have one more procedure though. Ehhh.

A Hysteroscopy.

To remove the two polyps, in order to make my Uterus a happy place for the embryos to attach. : )

Doc said, we can draw the line at only fertilizing 6 eggs, that way at least half (maybe more) should become healthy, good embryos.

She will only implant 1-2. No More.

She says, she doesn’t want to make headlines…nor do We.

If there are any eggs left over…we are pretty sure that our insurance covers the cost of freezing them.

So.

That’s where we are.

I’m excited. Anxious. Nervous. Hopeful.

…and eagerly looking forward.

...mixed emotions.

April writing...

I just talked with my Nurse, Casey. She's a doll. Unfortunately for her, she handed me another big box of questions...questions that I will have to be patient with before I get my answers.

Let me get you caught up with our Infertility struggle...many of you know what's going on, but for those of you who don't. Here's the skinny.

Cory and I have been trying for a little over 3 years to conceive. We have tried it naturally, we have done three rounds of Clomid/naturally, 2 rounds of injections with one round with and IUI (Intra-Uterine Insementation) and one round naturally. The medicine rounds were all completed between March 08-November 08. Then we took a break for the holidays, for our sanity, etc.

During that time, I decided to find another RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) office to work with. One that would at least be closer to work, one where I wouldn't have to pay for parking, one where I would feel more cared for, more important...less like a number on thier charts.

We found Shady Grove...and we LOVE them. My doctor is amazing...she really took her time with us, answering all our questions, going over my history, even making sure Cory was really included in the process. We had to take a couple of steps backwards...she wanted to re-do some tests that I had already had done, like the HSG, more bloodwork and more ultrasounds. Originally I had my first HSG done back on 06...towards the beginning of this process. Dr. Brilliant (my regular GYN) performed this horrid procedure and thought that my Fallopian Tubes may be blocked. So we then had an HHP done. That's basically a procedure where they go do a Laproscopy to go in an determine if I am blocked and if there are any other abnormalities. There were no blockages, only a few cysts on my ovaries, that were resected. All was well.

Well, with this HSG (done on Monday, 4/6) they couldn't see my tubes at all. The dye that they inject wouldn't even go near the tubes, ha! I mean...she tried everything...pushing more dye, having me roll back and forth on the table...nothing. She said either I was "blocked" or my "tubes were too constricted, since they are muscles...I might be too tense." Also, she saw what looked like some polyps on the inner-outside edge of my Uterus. We knew after talking with our Doctor initially that if my tubes were blocked that more than likely we were looking at IVF as our next option. The Doc that did my HSG said I would hear from Dr. Timmerock (my Shady Grove doc) this week.

Today I got a call from Casey, our Nurse. She informed us that Dr. Timmerock did see what were possibly polyps in my Uterus, so she wants us to do a Hystosonogram. That will take a closer look to find out what they polyps are...and how they may impact us. Then we will have a follow up appt with her to discuss the next steps.

I feel...bummed...relieved...scared...curious...confused...ehhhh.

To be honest, Cory and I are a little weary of the idea of IVF...mainly because we aren't completely educated on it. We have concerns about the idea that there may be extra embryos...and WHAT do we do with them...we can't just toss them...they are little lives.

I dunno. We are just going to do alot of praying, research and get our questions answered by the professionals. I know God has the end in mind, he is in control of this situation. We just need to let Him to his thing...trust in Him and believe that one day soon, we will have our little one.

So there you have it...you are all caught up. What are your thoughts? Have you had any friends go through the IVF process...? What is a Christian perspective on what to do with the leftover embryos? Storage fees may be too expensive. If you have no thoughts...please just keep us in your prayers...those are always greatly appreciated!

Understanding Infertility...

April writing...

I am doing some reading on the Shady Grove Infertility website (the office that I am probably switching over to soon.) They have a very informative website...so I figured I would share some of the information that I am reading with you, along with more of our story.

"Eighty five percent of all couples trying to conceive will become pregnant within one year. Approximately 7 million or 1 in 6 couples will have difficulty conceiving and may need medical help to identify and treat the possible causes of infertility. The good news is that there are treatments now to help almost everyone.

Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system that inhibits a couple's ability to have a baby. Infertility affects men and women equally without discrimination and for this reason both partners should actively participate in the diagnosis and treatment process. Infertility is not uncommon and you are not alone.

40% of all infertility cases may be attributed to the woman, 40% to the man, in 10% of cases both partners contribute to the problem, and 10% of the time the cause can not be identified and it is unexplained."

April's thoughts - I have never heard of Infertility referred to as a "disease" thats interesting to me...and also helpful. For some I am sure that comes with a sigh of relief, I mean after all you could think...no one can really defer a DISEASE from entering thier body...so that eases the thoughts of "Why couldn't I have stopped this?" or "I could have done this differently." The answer is no...for the majority of women/men with infertility issues, they never saw it coming nor could they have done anything to stop it.

For us, so far at least. We have fallen into the "Unexplained" section...that's 10% of the people that struggle with Infertility. And let me just say, it's no easier NOT knowing than knowing what is wrong and why it's not happening for us.

"Defining Infertility
The standard definition of infertility is the inability to achieve a pregnancy after one year of unprotected intercourse in couples where the woman is under age 35. Because a woman's fertility declines naturally as she gets older, couples should consider seeking medical help after six months of trying when the female partner is over age 35.

Why is age so important?
A woman’s fertility peaks in her mid-20’s, begins to decline around 27 and drops off more steeply after age 35. A woman’s fertility is measured by her ability to achieve a pregnancy on a given month. For women, the ability to conceive is tied to the quality of her eggs. As women age, hormonal changes begin to take place. There is a lot going on but of particular interest are the two main hormones controlling the development and release of the egg each month. These are FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) LH (lutenizing hormone).

A rising FSH level is linked to a decreasing egg quality. Decreased egg quality means it becomes more difficult for the sperm to fertilize the egg naturally. There may even be chromosomal abnormalities occurring within the egg itself, which is why amniocentesis is recommended for pregnant women over 35.

To illustrate this point, the natural pregnancy rate for women >30 is 20-30% per month but by age 40 the likelihood of conception occurring drops to > 5% per month."

April's thoughts - Wow...so it's good to know that at least I am still in a decent age range...I mean, when I was younger I thought I would be DONE having kids by now...but I guess God always has bigger and better plans.

As far as our story...well, we have officially been 'trying' or 'practicing' for 4 years. To be honest, the time has flown by...however that doesn't make it any less frustrating. We are very patient people and we have seen God's hand through it all. There have been so many times that we have been thankful to have not had children yet when things have come our way. We have seen this opportunity to get financially ready, to prepare our home more and to learn more and more about ourselves as a couple and how we will parent our own children. We still firmly believe that our day is coming soon and what a JOY it will be when it does!!

We plan on continuing in our Infertility battle and trying for our little one...hopefully this new office will offer some new energy and a renewed sense of goal!

Here's to a baby in 2009...

Too bad...oh too sad news.

April writing...

I spoke with my wonderful nurse, Sonya earlier. It looks like Cory and I aren't pregnant this time around.

:(

We are STILL staying positive...we know God has His plans.

I won't lie and say I am not super bummed...but I know all good things come to those who wait. In the meantime I find pleasure in knowing that a few of my new friends on my fertility website are getting their BFP's. (Big Fat Positives) They are pregnant now and that brings me joy, yes even in seeing someone else get something that I want so badly. I'm not heartless! I also know that one more month not pregnant just gives us more time to pay down debt and get our house remodeling done.

*that's me, just looking for the positive in everything!!*

Sonya says all the pieces and parts are there and working as they should, so we have no reason to believe that this won't happen for us...we just may have to work a little harder at it. So off we go...

We are headed into IUI round #2 this next week. Please pray for us. So far, Cory has been holding up and dealing with any of my slight hormonal/emotional swings like a real champ, and my body has done well adjusting to the medications, my weight...well not so much. So hopefully I can get a handle on that before they UP my dosage! :) (Or else I may REALLY eat the whole house this time!)

We will keep you in the LOOP!!! :) Thanks again for all the support guys!!!

This waiting is making me nuts

NOW don't call me CRAZY yet...

April writing...

I just thought that this was truly interesting...(Thanks Sarah for pointing that site out to me.)

http://3dpregnancy.parentsconnect.com/calendar/1-week-pregnant.html

If you have been hanging around enough you know that both Cory and I have all things baby on the mind...no...we don't know IF we are pregnant or not yet...however...the thought of it being a positive test result is consuming our brain, so reading about potentially BEING pregnant seems like a smart thing to do.

So I did. :) *there now I feel justified*

MEN you may want to read no further...unless you are and OB/GYN in your spare time...

Ok...so I didn't know that the measured pregnancy in weeks from the first day of your menstrual cycle. It seems weird to me. But according to some sites I have been reading today, that's the truth.

Has anyone else heard this? Any thoughts? Is it just me or does that not make much sense?!

A silly-mental-waiting game...

April writing...

Here we are Monday afternoon and I am sleeeeeepy. I am blaming (wholeheartedly) my medicine and NOT the fact that I stayed up till 1:00 am last night watching TV with a stomach ache. I am blaming the medicine because it has increased my appetite...which caused me to eat last night, later than I would normally...thus giving me a stomach ache that kept me up watching TV until 1:00 am.

You see, it's a vicious cycle.

...and NO, I don't want to hear anything about how I didn't HAVE to eat (although the thought of not putting something in my stomach was nauseating)...I know that I didn't HAVE to eat chicken nuggets and tater tots. This was not a smart idea, I know. Nor was watching the second episode of Ugly Betty when instead I should have just turned off the TV, popped a tums in my mouth, rolled over and forced myself to go to sleep.

But I didn't...and now I am paying the consequences. Albeit NOT my fault. :)

However, in all this I guess I DO have to admit that this very medicine which has caused me so much sleepy-hungry-grief, could possibly have been the deciding factor in our quest for a baby...so I can't complain much...rather I shouldn't complain much. I guess it's just that I have 11 1/2 days until I find out if we are pregnant...and keeping my mind on other things...even if they are complaining about my appetite and sleepiness, is keeping me from going crazy and running to the nearest Walgreen's for a pregnancy test!!!! (and who am I kidding, even if I DID take a test...it's still too early to tell.)

If I can be vulnerable for a moment...I am just feeling REALLY ready. It kinda goes through phases with me. I mean, I WANT a baby...WE want a baby, but there are days when I FEEL it even more...and since the IUI on Friday I have been FEELING it. So I am not trying to over react when I FEEL anything else...i.e. a little nausea, 'tater' tenderness or having to go to the bathroom frequently. I can't get caught up in all that...it's too early for that. Besides...I did drink alot of tea this weekend, I did lay on my back for a long period of time last night (which always makes me a bit nauseous) and as far as the tenderness goes, I think that's just a mental game.

I'm just ready...but I DO know that even if it doesn't happen this time...it WILL happen eventually and at the best time possible for Cory and I.

So....until then...I will probably continue to complain a little about my medicine and it's side effect woes. Cory will probably keep plugging away at finding his favorite ideas for baby names because he can't seem to remember the few that I have picked out as my favorite! :) (and luckily we have ruled out Ariel and Anastasia...yeah. Don't ask.)

This is what we will have to do until the dreaded two week wait is over. It's not that dreaded I guess...a bit of a lesson in patience...but after all isn't having children one HUGE lesson an patience...so I guess we are just starting early.

11 1/2 days to go...I can do this.

I've dropped by twice already...

April writing...

I've come to blog two times already this morning, but I haven't been ready to I guess. I have been out of it, like, majorly this weekend.

I can sum up my weekend in 5 pictures...

LOTS of these...

Alot of this...

alot of slathering on of this great stuff...

LOTS and LOTS of this...

And of course alot of this...

Yep...to say the least I have been SICK...

It was horrible. By the end of it all I also have a stinkin' ear infection! However, I wake up today...and it all seems to be leaving me...slowly...but still. It's leaving me.

I am coughing like nobodies business, but hoping that all the ick is just wanting to jump out of me...so I am helping it along!!! (all the while covering my hands in hand sanitizer after every cough!) I am not trying to spread my germs around work!!!

IN other GOOD health related news...we have ONE large follicle working it's way out! (I would have liked to seen more...but hey...ONE is better than NONE, so that works for me!) I saw my Doc yesterday and we saw my large follicle during the backwards sonogram and he said it is all looking good! He increased my dose of Follistim to 75 units, as he wants to see my Estrogen level increase a little bit more as well. So I am upping my dose and I am scheduled to see him again Wednesday morning. Hopefully then we will know when the IUI is scheduled!!!!

I am getting so excited!!! I feel really positive about it all...and we are just ready to give this a go! We will see what is in store for us!!

Grow Follies Grow!

April writing...

This is my Follicle update for Friday....hooooraaaahhhh!

I went to see my Doc this am...had some blood work done...again...boo. And I had another backwards sonogram...boo. But this is a necessary evil.

He said I have two healthy growing follicles in my right ovary and one healthy growing follicle in the left ovary. This is a good thing! They look something like this...(this big black circle in the middle is a maturing follicle, although that is not a picture of mine!)

He also said, "it is still early...so you may get one or two more and some of these that you have now may not fully mature." The more follicles the merrier...however we have been told that over 3 mature follicles increases our chance of multiples...so I am good with 3! :) So we are looking good for now...and I will hear back later, based on my blood work results about whether or not he will be increasing my dose.

So onto more shots...(of which I have found that the right side of my belly is not down with the shots...) so for now it's shots in the left side for me! I have a few little pinhole marks on my belly that show where I have taken the shots before...I should be all marked up before it is all said and done!

Here we go FOLLIES, Here we go!!!!

The shot heard round the world...ok not really...

April writing...

So I did it!!! I took my first Follistim shot last night and survived. Cory barely made it out alive though!! *poor little guy got squeamish when I asked him to take pictures for me!*

Here I am getting it all ready...I look confused, that's cause I was...my nerves were making me forget everything I learned, glad I took Cory with me...he was so helpful.

Here I am opening the medicine...that as trick as it was in the office thankfully. Now I have to clean it all up.

I take 50 units...so I dialed it up...

And there's the needle...not too bad actually. Basically a little thicker than a strand of hair or maybe like 4 of them...but whatever.

OOOOK....here I go. This is me telling Cory that he can put it on 'continuous shot', hold up the camera and close his eyes. Which he did...but I still needed my pictures!! *ps don't mind the lard I am holding in my hand, thankfully the lard is my friend...can't feel it as much going in! Thank you Lard...haha*

And in we go...oh, that's not bad at all!!!

YEAH I did it!!! I survived...

And so did my wittle Cory :) Thank you baby for taking pictures, this is going to be an important journey to talk about later in life!! Now we have pictures to go with it!

So all in all, it wasn't that bad at all. The area around the injection site felt warm for about 10 minutes afterwards...and it kind of felt like I was still pinching the lard for a while too. Here I am almost a half a day away from the shot and I am feeling good...and praying that it's doing it job, just the way it should. WE WANT OUR BABY! :)

Day One...

April writing...

I start my shots tonight. Yep. Day One of my Follistim injections. I am ubber excited...ehhhh.

I will be sure to take pictures to document my IUI preparing process, because that is just what I do.

I am seriously nervous. I mean up until this point in all our 'trying' it has been for the most part a natural process. But we are no entering into uncharted territory where we are needed a little outside help to, well get the little guys where they need to go.

It's crazy to me to think that literally by October 24th we could be and know that we are pregnant. AHHHHHH! So of course being the girl that I am, all of these thoughts are flooding my brain...are we really ready? Can I handle actually being pregnant? What if we have twins? or triplets? What if it doesn't work? What if it hurts? ehhhhh...

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But I have to breath...I really do. I have been great up until this point and I can't let a bunch or random nutty thoughts start bringing me down...

We are positive that this is the next step for the both of us, and we know it will happen in God's timing so...well, I guess we will just buckle up and see where the ride takes us.

I will post more later tonight about my first shot...and a picture too!!!

Till then...cross all your fingers and toes for us...and pray...HARD! :)

At the risk of getting too personal...

April writing...

I need to tell you about my day today...but it may seem personal though...so either grin and bear through it...cause for some reason I feel you are all important enough to know about it...or shy away and read no further...

You've been warned.

So this morning, I went to my first of many doctor's appointments, including blood work and an internal sonogram..which I like to call the "backwards sono." *yep that is as fun as it sounds...uh-huh*

I should be starting to take Follistim daily here soon for around 8-12 days. Depending on some factors such as follicle growth, endometrium lining thickness and estrogen and progesterone levels. I am expecting a call about when I will be starting. During this time I will be going to the Doc's every 2-3 days for more blood work and one of those "backwards sono's." *yeah* It's all good though, remember we are WANTING a baby...so if this is what we need to do...then so be it.

After meeting with the Doc and getting the news that I will have to wait until later today to find out exactly when I will start my shots. *yep, Follisim is daily shots in the stomach...more fun* Which is fine, I mean I have waited this long...I can handle it.

I then went to met with Sonya, my Doc's Nursing coordinator. (well after paying for parking, leaving the garage and heading out of Balto City that is. We had to turn around and go back and yep, you guessed it...pay for parking again!) But it was a necessary evil as I needed to find out HOW to give myself the injections...which is the whole reason I dragged Cory with me in the first place to the dreadful 'Lady Doctor" place to begin with...which is, "no place for a man" he begged. *not really, he didn't' say that...but I can read those eyes!*

Anyways, after being there for nearly 2 hours...we were finally done, and I was headed back to work. Here's where it may get personal for any of you readers of the...Male variety...you ladies will understand.

I was feeling fine leading up to my appointment...girlie-wise that is. You see, before I have to start my medicine, I have to go for the "backwards sono" during my TOM (time of the month), which seems about as absolutely repulsive as it is. I was having a light day...(again ladies, you get this...but for the brave men that may still be reading...here's a brief but somewhat understandable explanation for those that may not know.)

*brief pause for the man-explanation.* You know how when you go to the fast food restaurant and you can order your meal as a small, medium or large? Well for us women, our TOM can come in similar varieties...only we call them light, medium, heavy. And I am sure you can pick up what I am putting down now, enough to know what I mean. If not...ask your significant others...it may seem like you are asking because you care and you may even earn bonus points. *No problem for the help, its free*

Anyways, so before my appointment...I'm doing great...I'm light. After the appointment however...not so much. Can we say heavy?! And I am serious. I ate as soon as I could to get some nutrients in my body...slapped my Thermacare heating pad on my abdomen *those little babies are a Godsend* and tried to go about my day at work. Well it was excruciating. In fact I do believe one of my text messages to my dear hubby stated something about me telling him I will let him know, "when I die" cause the pain was that bad.

Well about an hour and half ago, I was sorting the mail...during one of my brief moments of feeling well enough to stand...and I dropped some mail on the ground. Well I bent over at the waist to pick it up, instead of bending down with my knees...bad idea. When I stood back up, I immediately got light-headed and grasped the counter for support...but that wasn't helping. I felt really heavy on my left side, then all of sudden...well. BOOM! Man down...er Woman down that is. I hit my head on the wall...hit the ground and came back around. I crawled to my chair, somewhat in tears and all I was able to do was reach for my phone to page a co-worker to come and help me. She did...another Godsend for me today.

She already knew about my lady woes today, cause that's what we ladies do...we share about it. I dunno it brings us closer together...and well other ladies they just always understand. So between the two of us, she helped me back to her area, (away from the front desk) she sat me in a chair and had me eat a banana (in case it was my potassium or iron that was low), a granola bar (for some simple sugars, in case it was my sugar level) and drink a coke (just cause that always helps).

It wasn't long before I stopped shaking, but my head still felt really heavy on the left side. Kind of like I need a V-8. Remember those commercials? Yeah it was like that. She said I was even leaning really far to the left in my chair. *funny now, not so much then*. It was about that time that Cory was texting me to check in with me..."How are your cramps?" Aweee what a doll. I was all, "funny you asked..blah blah blah." and got him all caught up on the situation.

Well, I am feeling much better now...no more light-headedness or shaking. I still feel extremely crampy...but oh well. What can I do?

And yes, for those of you who are wondering, I called my Doctor to see about what the heck just happened. I talked to another doc in his office and he said, "Most likely your iron is low. You did a good job with what you ate and drank. Watch for a headache or any light-headedness in the next hour...if you have any problems call us immediately."

So, I am now on headache watch and pacing myself for my drive home. Feeling much better, but ready for a nap when I get home. And also...for those of you keeping track for me...yes, I got a call about when I will be starting the shots. That is tomorrow night. I take them in the evening daily, then my next appointment for the blood work and "backwards sono" is Friday morning.

So...here's to a better, more *lighter* shall we say, evening...and that I do well with my shots. Thanks for listening..and if there are any men left...thanks for being so BRAVE :)