Dear Someone

Dear Co-Worker,
Please stop taking my scissors, stapler, tape dispenser and copier paper. You actually have to pass the office supply closet to get to my desk. I am really saving you time. Thanks.
Sincerely, the girl who orders office supplies.

Dear Husby,
Thanks so much for the fun this week; and thanks for dancing with me last night. Not only can I check it off my 30 before 30 list, but I enjoyed it cause it was with you. :)
Love, me.

Dear Dodger (Office dog),
I give you treats everytime you come to my desk, cause I am a cool dog lover like that. I just don't get why you gruff and lick your chops at me once you are done eating. I can't give you two, you would be huge before you knew it and I don't want to be an enabler. Sorry. Go beg someone else, your chances of getting a treat per employee are pretty good.
For your own benefit,
The lady with the peanut butter treats.

Dear Facebook,
I would find it super nice if you would stop changing the Facebook photo uploader. This last option is worthless. I am not sure how going from uploading 100 pictures in two minutes to, uploading 100 pictures in 26 minutes is better?! I give you permission to change the uploader once more...or at least go back to how we had it.
Thanks,
The user who uploads her fair-share of pictures to your site.


Dear House,
It has been sooo great to have you back to normal. Clean and organized. I am so sorry that the disarray took over for so long. But we got you some new hair (carpet) and I am sure you are pleased about that too. Now, if we can all work as a team to keep that carpet clean. I will speak with the dogs as well.
Love,
Me, the cleaning lady.

Dear Pups,
I know you have noticed the new carpet. Olive, you can't stay out from under the beds which is where I assume you are loving snuggling with the new carpet. Pickle, it seems any spot in any bedroom is now a comfy bed for you. So here's the deal. Let's keep it clean. I know Mom and Dad seem a little silly about closing the doors when it rains, but that's to keep it clean. So...if you could just do your part to wipe your paws when you come it, it would be greatly appreciated. kthxbye.

Dear Google Reader,
I see the smoke coming from your ears...but I have been too busy to read all of my blogs this week. I have started a little this morning and not seeing that "1000+" number move after reading (skimming) nearly one hundred blogs already is very disheartening. Throw me a bone, how many am I really working with here?
Thanks,
The reader who is reading as fast as she can.

Dear Someone

Dear Jimmy Johns Cashier,

When taking someones order over the phone, pleasantries shouldn't be avoided. I was very polite in placing my order, even though I was placing it with someone who was rushing me off the phone, even without asking me for my address; like normally happens when I place and order with your establishment over the phone. So when I call back, please don't answer the phone with "Hello "name of my company" I know where you are calling from, we have your address, don't worry" and then hang up on me. That's not pleasant. I think you are kind of a terd, and I just wanna make sure I am gonna get my lunch, and that I am going to get it right...because your establishment also has a tendency to leave off important aspects of my Turkey and Cheese sandwich, like say...the cheese.

Sincerely,
Your kind of worried I won't get my lunch today, much less get it right customer.

-------------------------------

Dear Husby,

I know you like to pick things. Most men do. Your nose. Pimples. Etc. When I do finally give in and let you help take care of a small growth I have in my ear...please do not feel that popping said growth with your finger and wiping it's spilled contents on my shirt is ok. It's not ok. That's gross. That's why God made tissue. To wipe things on. Be it boogers from your nose, pimple juice or whatever the gross product may be. Shirts are NOT for wiping. You are hereby grounded from any further skin care help I may need, until further notice.

Sincerely,
Your grossed out Wife.

-------------------------------

Dear Mailman,

When you approach my desk to deliver mail, I don't find it appropriate to fake sneeze on the mail. Especially when it is following me asking "if you are feeling better" knowing that you have been sick for over a week. Because now I am not going to just take the mail out of your hands as you sit there holding it for me to do so. I will let it sit in all it's germie goodness on the counter until I can spray it with Lysol. Your "let me share my germs" fake sneeze was not humorous, lets not let that happen again shall we?

Sincerely,
Your just got over her own germs Friend.



This can feel very liberating...go ahead. Give it a try!

Dear Someone

I am taking a cue from ShortMama and trying something new...writing letters...very important ones! :)

-------------------------------

Dear CoWorker,

It seems to me that you like to come up to my desk, my area; my office and eat your breakfast or hold conversations with other co-workers or even with me about things we have talked about plenty of times before. I know it seems as though I sit in the front "lobby" of our office and it seems as though I am merely a robot greeter with no personal space...this is however, not the case.

Kindly take your banana and your polite conversation about whatever random topic you pull from your tookus and head back to your office...you know the one that has walls and privacy?!

kthxbai.
The happy-go-lucky-open-aired-office Receptionist

-------------------------------

Dear Husby,

It looks like you think it's funny to take pictures of the empty toilet paper roll to make your sweet little wifey feel guilty for leaving it empty in her rush to get out of the house this morning...and while it was remotely humorous...please remember I am going to be late for my own funeral...so when I am late for work, I don't have time for piddly things such as replacing the TP roll...sorry, even in all my remorse, I don't see this changing soon.

Love,
Your smart-mouthed Wifey

-------------------------------

Dear Passive-Aggressive Facebook Friends,

I am not sure I agree with your passive-aggressive ways on the Internet; nor do I think that FB is the best place to air your smiley comments under toned with sarcasm and spite...I think it's rude and un-called for...most of us are adults, let's try acting that way. If you have a problem, say so...although, don't do it like I did; by running off to your blog to write about it...when the majority of the PAFB-friends won't be reading it anytime soon. :)

Thanks,
From your apparently passive-aggressive in her own right Bloggy friend

-------------------------------

Dear Food Lion Deli Lady,

When asked if you will be serving any fresh rotisserie chickens anytime soon, please don't respond with "You don't see any running around here do ya? *chuckle, chuckle*" I don't so much find it funny, I just want my rotisserie chicken.

Got it?
Your very hungry patron

-------------------------------

That was quite liberating! Not sure how often I will do it...WELL, you should give it a try!!