Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
...oh and by the way...this is a long one...so be prepared...
To some it's a bad word.
To some, it's abuse.
To others, it's a normally acceptable way of discipline.
Why myself, I was raised on spankings. I think it did very well for me. Taught me early. I had a healthy fear of my parents...(gasssspppp, you were afraid of your parents?) simmer down. We will get into that more later.
Let me get onto what lead to this post.
I was reading over at another blog, Clover Lane. ( it is where I got the following post.) Let me start by saying this...the thoughts and ideas in the post below are strictly that of the blog owner at Clover Lane and are not necessarily my personal opinions and they do not necessarily represent the views of my Husby and/or how we will raise our children. It is merely a tool to see another side of the proverbial child-rearing coin.
Now let's continue...this is what she had to say...
"Awhile back, I wrote a post about childbirth, and prefaced it with saying it's one of those subjects, that if brought up in a roomful of mothers, can make everyone squirm in their seats. There are a handful of these subjects...and we all know what they are...that possess the ability to hold in their grasp strong opinions, emotional past experiences, and heated debates.
If you are spanking it the name of religion...in the name of Jesus (as this seems to be a "popular" reason)...you are doing the opposite of everything he has ever taught. Can you see him physically hurting a child? Raising his hand towards a child? In the name of ANYTHING? That's laughable. I've heard it before...the old "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Well, I don't care WHO said it, WHEN they said, or WHERE it's found in the Bible...it's wrong. Yes, if that's what whoever wrote thousands of years ago really did mean that we should HIT our children, I am telling you, it is WRONG. If you spank in the name of Christianity, you might want to revisit Jesus Christ and everything he has ever stood for. He treated and talked about children as if they were GOD himself...the closest thing to pure innocence and goodness as you could ever get.
That's alot to take in...and yes, it is a very strong opinion pitting against spanking. My personal feelings are as follows...everyone say April's personal opinion...
I was raised being spanked. I knew that it effected how I made my decisions. I had a healthy fear of my parents and it did cause me to think twice before making a poor decision, talking back or outright disobeying my parents.
With that said, I have always known I would spank my children as a form of discipline, but as I have gotten older, I would have to be honest and say it doesn't seem so cut and dry. Now my thoughts (even before children) are...how young is too young? Would I use a belt or my hand? (I was raised on the belt) Do I try other methods first or go straight to spanking? Would I spank in public? (which the thought of honestly raises the hair on the back of my neck) Do I even really want to use spanking as a form of discipline?
It's alot to think about.
I don't necessarily agree that spanking causes emotional damage like mentioned in the post above, however...I can see that it may cause different reactions depending on your different children. One child may learn well with the spanking method, while others may learn and be effected more by another approach. Obviously, I do not agree in beating your children or spanking out of anger. Those things are very detrimental to children and to your relationship with your children.
None of us enjoy seeing a child throw a fit, how do you deal in those situations? Where in my head, spanking may only make the situation worse. Or what about repeat offenses. There were plenty of times growing up where I got spanked for lying...initially I would think, try something else the spanking isn't working. How long do you try? There are endless situations and I am sure endless answers...
So, I wanna know your thoughts. How did you come to the decision in how you will discipline your children in your family? Tell me your stories.
Please participate in the poll below. If you do not see your answer, please leave a comment on the poll. You can also just leave your comments on our post.
*please know this, any rude or inappropriate comments will be deleted. Please discuss this with respect for each others opinions. We are not here to figure out RIGHT FROM WRONG, I believe each family needs to pray about this decision and they are solely responsible for their own actions.*
Friday, October 16, 2009
I know what your saying...WHAAAAA???? Already?? But not me...yep...no sweat here.
This will be our 3rd year not celebrating Christmas the 'normal' way.
So...there has been so much LESS stress.
Granted, we still buy gifts for the little ones in our life...or a special little something for friends and family if we see it and it makes us think of them.
But no more are the times of saying, we can afford $75 for Uncle Johnny and $45 for Aunt Sarah and we can spend $200 on each other...and blah blah blah.
It's quite simple...
Cory's side of the family...the couples (three of us; his parents, Cory and I and Jo and Tamm) we draw names and get that persons stocking. We spend the year filling it with little things that the person NEEDS or things we find that just scream THEIR names. And there's even a spending limit, that we stick
My side of the family...a family trip to do something together...One year it was Medieval Times...last year it was to the Movies on Christmas Day to see "Marley and Me."
The kiddos...they get gifts of course...but we have even limited our amounts...as it has been shown that spoiling kids with such loads and loads of gifts tends to spur greed and ungratefulness in the years to come.
Friends...we use the rule...only if they can USE it or it's just too PERFECT to pass up.
I believe that this year, Cory and I are going super easy on us...and buying a gift for US...we have wanted a laptop...well basically since we
With all these changes...can I tell ya...it's just been SUCH a huge weight off. There's no added debt, no added stress and more time for FAMILY and less time devoted to wrapping and shopping with all the crazies out there!!
Just focusing on family, friends and making wonderful memories!!
Half the time I can remember what I got for whom and got from whom...but I remember the fun times exchanging gag gifts at Friends houses and making cookies with family and rejoicing in the birth of our Savior with my church family with no worries of having to run out after church and get those final needed gifts.
For those of you who are thinking...this is such a FOREIGN concept...here are a few simple ideas to make Christmas easier and less stressful. Take them as baby steps.
taken from SimpleMom.net
It’s not too early to start Christmas shopping. In fact, some of you might already be done shopping for the holidays. Starting earlier means spending less money, finding gifts people really want or need, and seriously cutting the stress during the holiday height.
Christmas is not about the gifts, and it’s much easier to avoid the “I wants” and the feeling of needing more and more if you don’t go shopping much during the season. There’s something about the stores that tempts well-meaning parents into feeling guilty for not getting the latest toy for their child, or enticing the innocent husband into blowing the budget on his wife.
You don’t necessarily need to go on a single-minded mission to the stores, but keep Christmas gifts in the back of your head when you’re already there. If you can finish your list before the stores start playing holiday music, then you’ve done a great job.
Here are a few tips to make Christmas gift shopping less stressful.
1. Make a List
Don’t ever go gift shopping without a list. Ever, ever, ever. You will more than likely buy more than you intended. List the people for whom you’re buying, jot down a few gift ideas next to their name, and cross them off when their gift is purchased.
Keep this list with you at all times. That way, it’s readily available when an unexpected gift idea pops into your head.
2. Set Limits on People
This is a touchy subject. At what point do you stop buying presents for your extended family? Or is it an eternal tradition in your clan?
Because Christmas isn’t about the gifts, at some point families need to just put a stop to the stuff. It’s definitely easier said than done in some families, because there inevitably will be a sister-in-law or a dad who doesn’t want to stop the gift exchange.
If your family is like this, are you up for being the one to call a hiatus on the tradition? If so, here are a few ideas for broaching the subject tactfully:
Do it gradually.
Maybe instead of stopping a gift exchange all together, suggest a reasonable cost limit for this year. After a few years of this, perhaps the adults might be more open to ending completely.
Suggest drawing names over Thanksgiving, so that each person only needs to buy for one other person. This doesn’t always help that much, however. On one side of our family’s case, if my husband and I each drew a name, we’d be buying two gifts instead of four. A little better, for sure, but we’re still spending.
A homemade gift created specifically for someone is more treasurable than a big box store purchase. We’ll share homemade gift ideas in this series soon, but for now, think sewing, an mp3 playlist, or a task like babysitting.
3. Set Limits on Quantity
Decide in advance how many gifts to buy each person in your family, and stick with it. In our family, the children receive three from Mom and Dad because Jesus received three. Well, that’s debatable, and it doesn’t really matter that much, but it’s our way of curbing the overflow under the tree. And it works for our kids, because it’s all they’ve ever known.
For the adults, the amount changes from year to year, but we do mutually agree in advance. Last year, my husband and I got each other one larger gift each (iPods). This year, we’re going with one small gift per person, probably a book or a DVD. We’re going on a family vacation in November, so we decided that’s the bulk of our gift to each other.
4. Shop Online
When you shop online, you avoid the crowds, it’s easier to stick within your budget (no enticing last-minute purchases made at the register), and you have endless options. I love supporting cottage industries and the handmade community, so my preference is most definitely online. Plus, a one-stop shipping option means no waiting in line at the post office.
My favorite places to shop are Etsy and Amazon. I know Amazon isn’t a small business by any means, but it sure is handy — they’ve got everything, and they’ve got a good return policy. Plus, shipping if often free when you spend more than $25. And I could spend hours browsing at Etsy — I love the fact that each gift bought is unique, thoughtfully crafted, and quite often made from quality, non-toxic materials.
(April's sidenote - when shopping online, always remember to check for added savings at retailmenot.com...you could save on your order or possible get free shipping!)
So there...it's that easy!!! How you make changes this Holiday season?!
Make it more about tradition and family then debt and presents!
Well...if I were honest I would say that there hasn't been some huge, life-changing, spectacular way that Husby had rocked this week...and I don't mean that in a bad, sad, neglected kinda way either...
So I am going to just simply state, that Husby you rock...because you are my bestfriend. No matter what. I am glad that I can always depend on you...marriage is great if for no other reason than to live with your bestfriend everyday :)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
This week's prompt: What are your Top 5 things to eat with Peanut Butter?
5. Just a plain SPOON full of Peanut Butter
4. Peanut Butter and Jelly bagels - done best with fresh from the toaster
3. Peanut Butter and Celery - classic
2. Peanut Butter and Honey Toast - delightful
1. Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich (pb on both sides of the bread a little jelly in the middle)
Let's hear yours!
Monday, October 12, 2009
My MM this week is being behind. I just realized that I am really behind on my Project 365 pics. I mean, I have taken them, but I haven't edited them or posted them on Facebook OR the blog...ahhh maybe sometime this week ehh!!??
What are you moaning about this Monday?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It was a great weekend! Friday and Saturday night Cory and I attended a marriage conference at our church! It was a blast to sit and learn with some great other couples!! There were LOTS of laughs. We always love attending those conferences and being refreshed in our marriage and possibly learning new things!! Have you been keeping up your marriage maintenance?
Sunday was a long day...we had a VERB Leadership meeting first thing Sunday morning, then we went to church. After church, Myself, The Meat, Via and Nat all went to lunch and the mall. We had a blast!!! (especially in the photo booth!)
Well they did a great job with it! I was very, very impressed. Especially when my witty nephew made us all nearly wet ourselves with his "Hooters" reference!! So funny!
We had VERB service and about 10 minutes into service, Bek and I were notified that Mom was in the ER with another endless nosebleed. So we ducked out to head over and sit with her. She was fine...albeit rather uncomfortable with a nasal tampon shoved up her nose. As she stated, "it feels like it's touching the back of my eyeball!" Poor mom, this is the second time we have had to take her to the ER for a never-ending nosebleed. Right before she was discharged they dropped a bombshell on her...she would have to keep the nasal tampon in for 3 days or until she say the ENT. Well that lit a fire under mom for sure...she was in the Doc's office the NEXT day!! She is well and we are all thankful for that.
So...figured I would update you all..it was a long but fun weekend!!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
So I took a minute today to throw together some pretty fall decor...
I took one apothecary jar...
Friday, October 09, 2009
Our sweet Husby's...they don't always rock in the most obvious of ways. This week I think my Husby rocks just for his willingness to work on "Us." We are attending a marriage conference this weekend...I know that I always feel a little ehhh before going in and I always love what we learned coming out. I know it's probably worse for men...yet Cory is always willing. In fact he always says, "It's like preventative maintenance for your marriage."
That's the truth, we take care of our bodies, our homes and our cars with preventative maintenance. Vitamins, Sleep, oil changes, new filters, mopping and dusting...why not our marriages?! We could all use a little upkeep.
This weekend's focus is laughing your way to a better marriage...and we LOVE to laugh. I am sure this will be a blast!
Husby...thanks for being so willing to prevent the bad in our marriage :) 143.
How does your Husband ROCK?!
Thursday, October 08, 2009
My simple pleasure today is soft klennex. I am recovering from a cold and it is so nice when you have to repeatedly blow your nose, that you have a nice soft tissue. It makes a world of difference.
What is your simple pleasure for today?
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
...a great reminder to challenge myself within my marriage relationship...I needed this.
Taken from...Simple Mom
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” ~ Helen Keller
Creating intimacy between you and another person can be scary, even dangerous at times — but most everyone wants it; to not be alone as you journey through life. There are risks involved with intimacy — you could feel hurt or embarrassed.
The good news is that you can learn how to cultivate intimacy in ways that fulfill both you and your partner.
To begin, you must realize that you are responsible for you. Too often, people wait for their spouse to make the first move, to initiate the conversation, to walk over and offer the hug or shoulder to cry on. The problem with this strategy is that you have no control over someone else’s actions. All you can control is you.
1. Focus Your Attention
Intimacy begins with the simple things. Notice your partner, listen to them, and offer thanks when they help out in your world. Relationships struggle when one partner says things like, “You haven’t heard a thing I’ve said for the last five years” or “You have no idea how hard I work.” Long before you reach this point, take preventative action with the gift of attention.
2. Take Care of Yourself
Many people go into relationships looking for a way to be happy, complete, and whole. It’s the same mindset as believing that your spouse’s strengths will offset your weaknesses, and vice versa. There’s nothing wrong with believing this, in theory; the problem is that reality is often different than theory. What if you approach your relationship another way? Be happy, complete, and whole — and then have a relationship.
Depending on another human for your happiness sets yourself up for disappointment. Humans change, leave, do things we don’t understand. And they do these things without our consent. Depending on things outside yourself for happiness and wholeness is giving up control over your own life.
A word of caution here:
Growing stronger and learning to achieve happiness on your own can be hazardous to your relationship. As you grow, it puts pressure on your partner to do the same. And sometimes partners are threatened by this growth, so they resist the changes or run.
This is sometimes seen in the graduate school world. While the current divorce rate remains around the 45 to 50 percent range, in marriages where one spouse is in graduate school, the divorce rate increases. The reason? One partner is changing and growing, and the other may be threatened by the change.
We meet and fall in love with people who are about as mentally healthy (or unhealthy) as ourselves. Like attracts like. So as one of you grows and evolves, it’s important that the other partner grow as well for your relationship to survive.
3. Share Yourself
Be open with your spouse. Share how you view the world, what you think, how you feel. Talk about the significant things in your life right now. Reveal your worries, your fears, your concerns. I’m not saying you must share every deep secret in your life with your spouse, but let them in a little.
An unwillingness to share yourself with your spouse works against the goal of intimacy.
4. Throw Away the Score Card
Couples in conflict frequently keep mental score cards. They keep track of every unkind word, selfish act, and thoughtless gesture made by their spouse. In essence, they catalog every one of their spouse’s sins of commission and omission going back over decades. This leads to the obsession of having to get even.
In relationships where you feel you must get even, intimacy will be non-existent — guaranteed.
However, when you freely give to your spouse and allow them to be themselves, you’ll likely experience the intimacy you desire. This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat for others, or letting them take advantage of you. But when you release resentments and take an initiative to resolve things between you, you’ll often see the payoff of increased intimacy.
What are ways you and your spouse proactively cultivate intimacy in your relationship?
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
So here's this weeks prompt:
What are your Top 5 Favorite things to wear in the Fall?
5. Ribbed Turtlenecks
4. Fleece Pants
3. Fleece jacket
Let's hear yours!!! Steal my button above and leave the link to your post in the comments section! :)
Taken from the Jack & Erin in the Afternoon blog....thanks guys!
Pick your favorite cookie and see if it matches your personality!
Chocolate Chip -- You're as American as apple pie, and you're raising your kids with the traditional values you treasure. Your low-key approach to life makes you a favorite with family and friends because you bring a steadying influence to the most chaotic situations.
Ginger Snaps -- You're bold, brave and in search of excitement. Life is never dull when you're around, and both kids and adults are attracted by your zest for life. You never shy away from new adventures, leading a happy band of friends and family who'll gladly follow you anywhere.
Graham Crackers -- You're softhearted and kind with a taste for nostalgia. You have many fond memories of your childhood, and your closet is probably stuffed with keepsakes from years gone by. But you don't dwell on the past because you're too busy making memories today.
Vanilla Wafers -- You have uncanny intuitive powers that give you the unique ability to size up a situation or a person with breathtaking accuracy. Loved ones caught up in complex problems often turn to you for advice because they know you'll steer them in the right direction.
Sandwich Cookies -- Whether you eat the crème filling first or dunk them in milk, your choice says you're a creative person with a vivid imagination. A born storyteller, you're often the center of attention at parties, regaling your pals with funny, sometimes outrageous, tales.
Fig Newtons -- Quiet, reserved and mature, your keen mind makes you a force to be reckoned with. You always have your "ducks in a row," and your organizational skills assure your home and job are both running smoothly. Just don't forget, spontaneity is a good thing too.
Sugar Cookies -- You're a nonconformist who believes that variety is the spice of life. Your avid interest in a multitude of subjects, teamed with your antiestablishment sensibility, makes you a challenging companion. You may not always take the safe path, but there's no doubt that life with you is never dull.
Oatmeal -- As homespun and down-to-earth as a comfy pair of slippers, you're a genius at making others feel loved. Your family and friends blossom under the warmth of your generous spirit, while your practical approach to problems helps you find the best route to a solution that satisfies everyone involved.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
It's pretty much official. Texting while driving in Maryland is a ticketed offense. With a maximum fine of up to $500 and one point on your driver's license.
I have to admit...I have sent texts while driving.
So yeah...I better nix that.
Read more about it here.
Snippet from the article:
"Meanwhile, Maryland will join 12 other states that have banned texting while driving; six additional states will prohibit the practice by January. It will be a primary offense, meaning officers can pull over anyone they suspect is using a wireless device to send a text message. Offenders face a maximum fine of $500 and one point on their driving records.
Over the last five years, an average of more than 30,000 crashes has occurred annually on Maryland roads as a result of inattentive driving, according to data from the Maryland Highway Safety Office. During the same period, nearly 20,000 people are injured annually in Maryland because of distracted driving, which includes cellular phone use, texting, changing radio stations, eating and more.
"We feel it's a great first step towards addressing the issue of distracted driving," said Jeremy Gunderson, the office's spokesman. "Nobody out there is claiming it to be the panacea, but with the rapid increase of cellular device ownership, it's a great first step and we look forward to seeing some great results arise from this."
I got curious today. So I checked in on my Sitemeter.
Which is now registering at 12, 384 Visitors to our blog since we began in November of 2007. I wanted even more detail so this is what I found.
Here's where our last 100 visitors originated from...
So yeah, I still don't really get what this is all about, but here it is...(ha)
We love reading comments...it bring a special sense of sharing to the Blog community!!!
I have to admit there have been posts where I won't get one comment and I feel so let down. haha...funny how I look for (comment) love in all the wrong places! :P
Anyways...just putting it out there...that came up from the topic of the post...I really did just come to blog about my Visitors and the locations of visitors...haha!