surely...

April writing...

You all hate me. Surely you do. Those of you who have routinely dropped by to see nothing since the 27th. I am sorry.

I just don't know what it is. I feel like the summer has gotten the best of me, and not necessarily in a good way.

I may have also picked a bad day to blog, cause it's pretty crappy today. Some may get this, others won't. Let me whine and be negative for a minute...

It's hot. I'm chunky. Not a good combo...thus I am having a fat day. This never makes a lady happy. It leads me to think sad/angry thoughts of letting myself gain all the weight back that I lost. While still sitting and not really doing anything about it. Doh!

I'm so ready for vacation it hurts. I am excited. I think that we are going to have a blast! I am ready for the beach...but then there's that subject (above) that creeps into my head...and of course I am affected by it yet again. Bathing suits. Need I say more?

We are busy and we have done it to ourselves...but I feel like I am on a treadmill and someone keeps jacking up the speed and I NEEDS to get OFF! I love everything that we are involved with...and I really wouldn't change a thing, I just know that I have slacked in my organization and I know that I have alot to do, but I am not runnin' my game like I should. I need to settle down, regroup, get organized and hit the calendar again.

I feel a bit unsettled. There are babies everywhere. Which I LOVE...but I am so ready for our own!!!! I got to hold two newborns yesterday...and seriously...Britt said it right...your arms ache. Mine most definitely did. I always tend to daydream after being around babies. What ours will look like, how they will smell, what personalities they will have, what I will dress them in, what fun things will I do with them? I am just so ready. Even though I know there is so much that I want to do first as well...losing weight (again), pay off debt, home improvement.

GOOD GRACIOUS.

It catches up to you...and it. just. becomes. all consuming.
So who knows...maybe all of that is why I haven't blogged.
Maybe it's because I am busy.
Or because I am sad.
Or because I want a baby.
Who knows.
Maybe I'll be better.
Maybe I won't.

Only.
time.
will.
tell.