My bad. Sorry I haven't been around much. It seems that I have alot to say, just not here. Here's what's on my mind today...in it's awesomely-random-glory!
I'm tired. Let me start off by saying...I had, quite possibly one of the worst nights sleep EVER last night.
It started out well enough. I put my head to the pillow with the lights out at 12:15 am. (this is pretty good for me.) I tossed and turned, and turned and tossed. I grumbled at my pillow for not being comfortable enough, I grumbled at my shoulder and upper arm fat for falling asleep and going numb, I stared at the ceiling fan for what seemed like 45 minutes. I checked the clock...1:30 am. (good gracious) I got up and got a glass of water, went to the restroom and checked all the doors again. Then I fluffed the pillows, fixed the blanket and laid my head down again.
In 5 minutes I was out. (thank goodness) but it didn't last long. I had a horrible nightmare. I don't remember much about it...something to do with my grandparents being held hostage in a burglary attempt gone dreadfully wrong. They did horrible things to them, I remember that much, I was awaken by my dogs barking. (which was both a blessing and a curse) It then took me another hour to fall asleep (complete with the tossing, the turning and more of the grumbles).
By 2:40 am I was fast asleep again. This time I dreamt that I worked in a hair salon in NY. A new client walked in with her son to get a fauxhawk. It was Angelina Jolie and her son, Maddox. She requested me, apparently I was really good in the fauxhawk department. He sat down and I was getting ready to begin when...I woke up again. This time...it was to my cellphone vibrating. (I have been smart lately putting it on vibrate, because randomly in the middle of the night Facebook has been sending me status updates from 12 hours previous. lovely) I was angry this time, I was FED up. I was tired and I cried. Big alligator tears.
It was 3:24 am and I sat up in bed. Fixed my crooked shirt, rearranged my pillows, checked my phone and then checked my alarm clock. I counted how many hours I had left of sleep. 5 hours. I could make that work, but I HAD to fall asleep for real this time. I just had to. I laid back down, flipped over once...and was fast asleep again.
Then it happened. Another nightmare. This one was much closer to home. I know it had something to do with my family, but I think God has spared me the memory of the nightmare. This time, at 4:15 am I woke up in a cold sweat. Like, I had to change my clothes. That never happens to me. Ever. I went to the restroom, washed off with a cold, wet rag sat on the edge of the shower...tearing up again I said a quick prayer asking God for strength and asking him to calm my body and my mind so I could finally get to sleep. I again counted the hours of sleep I would be getting. 4 hours now.
I slowly walked down the hallway. Made the bed. Then turned off my alarm clock, unplugged my phone and sat on the edge of the bed. Time to start over I thought. I pulled the comforter back. Set my alarm clock for 8:30 am, plugged in my phone and laid down. On my back. I rarely start this way, and so as not to jinx my starting over, I turned to my left side, put the pillow between my knees, squeezed my squishy pillow and buried my head in the stack of Cory's pillows beside me and fell asleep.
I didn't wake again until I felt my sweet Husby crawl into bed next to me. I don't quite remember, but I think I just reached over and touched him on the head, almost to say thank you for coming home. Not sure why. At 8:30 my alarm went off, surprisingly, I only snoozed it twice and I got up. Showered. Got dressed and headed out to work. I was exhausted. I felt like I had fought a battle all night. I was sore. I was tired. My throat was dry.
Normally, I would wait to take lunch till around 1:30 pm...it helps the day go by faster, but I had agreed last week to meet Terri and Britt for lunch with the kiddos at 11:30 am. It was a bright spot in my already long day, and so far so good on the speed of the work day. Soon I will be home, and probably find that all my sleepiness has passed me by.
Tonight's a new night. And I have decided...no more Chinese food and holocaust movies before bedtime, I'm just thinking it's not a good combo.
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