*twitch*

April *twitch* writing...

So today has be NUTS...and when I *twitch* say nuts, I mean CRA*twitch*ZY!! So it started when I came in this *twitch* morning. You see, how things work in my office, *twitch* since I am the receptionist...I am also the *twitch* catch-all for typing, transmittals, *twitch* faxing, mailing, etc. So today...my *twitch* desk was full of stuff when I first got in!

I had a total of 5 DHL orders to place...which *twitch* take about 2 minutes each if not already packaged, *twitch* about 6-10 minutes each if they aren't...which these weren’t. Then I had specs to type...and not just *twitch* ones with a few corrections, but like pages full of typing to add. (*note...it was midway through this job that the phones cut out, YEAH! But with them went the internet. So my *twitch* periodic blog and myspace comment checks were non-existent.) So after about an hour of typing specification *twitch* information about toilets and urinals and sinks, that job was *twitch* completed. Then onto preparing the mailout of about two dozen invoices and another dozen bills...*twitch*, which really isn't a lot it's just busy work that I don't truly enjoy first thing in the morning. I kinda like to ease into *twitch* it. (I know, I sound work-spoiled, but I am, and I will *twitch* admit it.) I completed the busy work and finally the phones and internet *twitch* were back up and running. YEAH, well at least about the internet!!! Just in time for an email, blog and myspace check before lunchtime. And boy did the phones *twitch* make up for the 35 minute break they had...it was *twitch* ringing off the hook. If only I knew this would be a foreshadowing taste of what was to become my *twitch* afternoon.

I finally decided after these jobs were completed and the phones calmed down...that it was *twitch* it was time for lunch. Which for me, meant a trip to Target to get some *twitch* stuff to prepare for the St. Patrick's Day party tonight. *twitch* I happily left the office knowing that for sure Target would cheer me up...as always...and it did. I fully enjoyed my lunchtime break at Target. So then I returned to work...

Then the real *twitch* fun began. Our internet went down...again...and the phones began to develop a mind of their own. The phone would ring, *twitch* I would answer it...and it would sound like a *twitch* fax machine fighting with a dying cat. Literally. I soon realized that if I hung up the line *twitch* after realizing that it was not a real call, that it would only ring right back to me. *twitch* *twitch* *twitch* After 5 minutes of this...I got smarter than the dumb phone...and when I would pick up the line, I would immediately put it on hold. This worked for *twitch* about 10 minutes. Then *twitch* all H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS broke loose. You see, *twitch* we have multiple lines, but I rarely see them all light up at the *twitch* same time. It was literally pandemonium. *twitch* The phone would ring and *twitch* ring and ring and *twitch* ring and no matter how quickly I answered (no one was on the other end by the way) they just kept coming in. Lines I have never *twitch* seen light up were lighting up like Las Vegas at night!!! This continues for hmmm…I dunno...FOREVER (in actuality probably only like 4 minutes) and during this oh so very frustrating time, I missed a page by Gary *twitch* our systems administrator that says, "Verizon is testing the lines, so don't answer the phones for about 15 minutes." Someone finally lovingly clued me in to this...and I stopped answering the incessant ringing *twitch* phone.

*SIGH*

It got worse. For the next *twitch* 30....I repeat....30 minutes...the phones just RANG. *twitch* and there was nothing I could do about it, but listen to it. It was torture...I began thinking of secrets that I could tell my *twitch* captors about family members and government secrets...because I felt as if I was being tortured for information. Trust this...*twitch* if I get captured by any one, ever...and they need a way to torture me...a ringing phone will work quite *twitch* nicely. And please believe me...the information will be ALL theirs.

*silence*

It has ended...the phones ceased to ring....my twitching subsided to a dull neck pain...was this the end?? Had the problem been solved? Had I given my captors enough information for them to return me to my normal state of being, happily plugging away at mailouts and dhl orders???

*silence*

I think so. I think it is done...and as I sit completing what has become my most tortured moment in blogging history...I reflect on the feelings I had...the thoughts I shared with only myself thinking, "I never had the chance to say this..."

I love you all...if I don't say it enough I should...I have learned so much through this trial...not to take every day so seriously, but to enjoy life to the fullest...because...I don't know when the phone will ring again. And then, it will be over for me. So until then, I will leave nothing unsaid, no words un-spoken.

I am a new woman.

*ring, ring*

*twitch*

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*