Thursday, April 09, 2009

...mixed emotions.

April writing...

I just talked with my Nurse, Casey. She's a doll. Unfortunately for her, she handed me another big box of questions...questions that I will have to be patient with before I get my answers.

Let me get you caught up with our Infertility struggle...many of you know what's going on, but for those of you who don't. Here's the skinny.

Cory and I have been trying for a little over 3 years to conceive. We have tried it naturally, we have done three rounds of Clomid/naturally, 2 rounds of injections with one round with and IUI (Intra-Uterine Insementation) and one round naturally. The medicine rounds were all completed between March 08-November 08. Then we took a break for the holidays, for our sanity, etc.

During that time, I decided to find another RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) office to work with. One that would at least be closer to work, one where I wouldn't have to pay for parking, one where I would feel more cared for, more important...less like a number on thier charts.

We found Shady Grove...and we LOVE them. My doctor is amazing...she really took her time with us, answering all our questions, going over my history, even making sure Cory was really included in the process. We had to take a couple of steps backwards...she wanted to re-do some tests that I had already had done, like the HSG, more bloodwork and more ultrasounds. Originally I had my first HSG done back on 06...towards the beginning of this process. Dr. Brilliant (my regular GYN) performed this horrid procedure and thought that my Fallopian Tubes may be blocked. So we then had an HHP done. That's basically a procedure where they go do a Laproscopy to go in an determine if I am blocked and if there are any other abnormalities. There were no blockages, only a few cysts on my ovaries, that were resected. All was well.

Well, with this HSG (done on Monday, 4/6) they couldn't see my tubes at all. The dye that they inject wouldn't even go near the tubes, ha! I mean...she tried everything...pushing more dye, having me roll back and forth on the table...nothing. She said either I was "blocked" or my "tubes were too constricted, since they are muscles...I might be too tense." Also, she saw what looked like some polyps on the inner-outside edge of my Uterus. We knew after talking with our Doctor initially that if my tubes were blocked that more than likely we were looking at IVF as our next option. The Doc that did my HSG said I would hear from Dr. Timmerock (my Shady Grove doc) this week.

Today I got a call from Casey, our Nurse. She informed us that Dr. Timmerock did see what were possibly polyps in my Uterus, so she wants us to do a Hystosonogram. That will take a closer look to find out what they polyps are...and how they may impact us. Then we will have a follow up appt with her to discuss the next steps.

I feel...bummed...relieved...scared...curious...confused...ehhhh.

To be honest, Cory and I are a little weary of the idea of IVF...mainly because we aren't completely educated on it. We have concerns about the idea that there may be extra embryos...and WHAT do we do with them...we can't just toss them...they are little lives.

I dunno. We are just going to do alot of praying, research and get our questions answered by the professionals. I know God has the end in mind, he is in control of this situation. We just need to let Him to his in Him and believe that one day soon, we will have our little one.

So there you have are all caught up. What are your thoughts? Have you had any friends go through the IVF process...? What is a Christian perspective on what to do with the leftover embryos? Storage fees may be too expensive. If you have no thoughts...please just keep us in your prayers...those are always greatly appreciated!


Becky said...

April and Cory, First; I am praying for you. Next, speaking from 2nd hand experience from what I saw my brother and his wife go through; IVF, while it is a roller coaster of emotions and yes questions, in my opinion is a good thing for those in your situation; if that is what you are told is your option outside of adoption. My brother and his wife were in your place; having questions, concerns and, more questions.

My suggestion is be open to it and if it is God's will for you; then so shall it be. As far as the christian perspective on what to do with the leftovers....I honestly couldn't tell you what to do in if you find yourself in that position. Me personally I would adopt them out to couples who have tried everything they can to have child. But that is just what I would do, because like you I could never throw them away. Just not in me to do that. As for what my brother and his wife did, they implanted the last 2 embryos and while one did not implant the other did and they have a beautiful little boy, Wyatt to add to their life with the twins.

I hope this has helped. I am praying. Hugs!

- Sarah :-) said...

That friend of ours at church that I wanted you to make the baby slippers for... they went through like 3 IVF cycles before she got pregnant with this little one. So I'm going to talk to her and get her take on how they did everything...


megsnbigd said...

I've seen both ends of the spectrum. My grildfriend had IVF done three times and the third time it took. BOTH of them and they ended up with fraternal twins. They did store for a while but to be perfectly honest I don't remember what they did with them. I could find out. I do remember that there were some that were simply not "viable".

Then I've seen another girlfriend where they put four back. All FOUR took and because of her build could not carry all four. I don't know how much was pressure but they did opt to selectively "reduce" (and deliver only two) which is a whole other ethical matter!

My advice from what I've seen, if it's the best option for you, go for it. Be keely aware of what you are doing in creating them and putting them back. Only put as many back as you CAN carry and care for. I know what the statistics say, but what IF they all took? Hello Kate Gosselin? From what I understand it is illegal in England to put back more than two. There is wisdom in that...and yet I understand the financial aspect...we shall just pray.

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