Monday, October 13, 2008

A silly-mental-waiting game...

April writing...

Here we are Monday afternoon and I am sleeeeeepy. I am blaming (wholeheartedly) my medicine and NOT the fact that I stayed up till 1:00 am last night watching TV with a stomach ache. I am blaming the medicine because it has increased my appetite...which caused me to eat last night, later than I would normally...thus giving me a stomach ache that kept me up watching TV until 1:00 am.

You see, it's a vicious cycle.

...and NO, I don't want to hear anything about how I didn't HAVE to eat (although the thought of not putting something in my stomach was nauseating)...I know that I didn't HAVE to eat chicken nuggets and tater tots. This was not a smart idea, I know. Nor was watching the second episode of Ugly Betty when instead I should have just turned off the TV, popped a tums in my mouth, rolled over and forced myself to go to sleep.

But I didn't...and now I am paying the consequences. Albeit NOT my fault. :)

However, in all this I guess I DO have to admit that this very medicine which has caused me so much sleepy-hungry-grief, could possibly have been the deciding factor in our quest for a I can't complain much...rather I shouldn't complain much. I guess it's just that I have 11 1/2 days until I find out if we are pregnant...and keeping my mind on other things...even if they are complaining about my appetite and sleepiness, is keeping me from going crazy and running to the nearest Walgreen's for a pregnancy test!!!! (and who am I kidding, even if I DID take a's still too early to tell.)

If I can be vulnerable for a moment...I am just feeling REALLY ready. It kinda goes through phases with me. I mean, I WANT a baby...WE want a baby, but there are days when I FEEL it even more...and since the IUI on Friday I have been FEELING it. So I am not trying to over react when I FEEL anything else...i.e. a little nausea, 'tater' tenderness or having to go to the bathroom frequently. I can't get caught up in all's too early for that. Besides...I did drink alot of tea this weekend, I did lay on my back for a long period of time last night (which always makes me a bit nauseous) and as far as the tenderness goes, I think that's just a mental game.

I'm just ready...but I DO know that even if it doesn't happen this WILL happen eventually and at the best time possible for Cory and I.

So....until then...I will probably continue to complain a little about my medicine and it's side effect woes. Cory will probably keep plugging away at finding his favorite ideas for baby names because he can't seem to remember the few that I have picked out as my favorite! :) (and luckily we have ruled out Ariel and Anastasia...yeah. Don't ask.)

This is what we will have to do until the dreaded two week wait is over. It's not that dreaded I guess...a bit of a lesson in patience...but after all isn't having children one HUGE lesson an I guess we are just starting early.

11 1/2 days to go...I can do this.


Angie said...

I know it's more of a waiting game for you guys, but trust me, it's a waiting game for me and your father, too. I think I am glad that I am too busy this week to do much thinking at all. After this weekend that may be a different story, everytime I think about it, I try to say a little prayer about it and go on about my business. After all, It is all up to God in His timing! Love you guys!

Cory E. :) said...

I am right there with you baby. I am ready for this to happen now. Ever since the IUI I can' stop thinking about having a little one.

- Sarah :-) said...

Wow - I guess the whoel family is thinking a lot about it. It'll be awesome to find out, but at the same time, soemthing that, if anything ever is, is definitely worth the wait.

Love you guys - and Kyle and I are praying for you.

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