Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dear Someone

Dear Jimmy Johns Cashier,

When taking someones order over the phone, pleasantries shouldn't be avoided. I was very polite in placing my order, even though I was placing it with someone who was rushing me off the phone, even without asking me for my address; like normally happens when I place and order with your establishment over the phone. So when I call back, please don't answer the phone with "Hello "name of my company" I know where you are calling from, we have your address, don't worry" and then hang up on me. That's not pleasant. I think you are kind of a terd, and I just wanna make sure I am gonna get my lunch, and that I am going to get it right...because your establishment also has a tendency to leave off important aspects of my Turkey and Cheese sandwich, like say...the cheese.

Your kind of worried I won't get my lunch today, much less get it right customer.


Dear Husby,

I know you like to pick things. Most men do. Your nose. Pimples. Etc. When I do finally give in and let you help take care of a small growth I have in my ear...please do not feel that popping said growth with your finger and wiping it's spilled contents on my shirt is ok. It's not ok. That's gross. That's why God made tissue. To wipe things on. Be it boogers from your nose, pimple juice or whatever the gross product may be. Shirts are NOT for wiping. You are hereby grounded from any further skin care help I may need, until further notice.

Your grossed out Wife.


Dear Mailman,

When you approach my desk to deliver mail, I don't find it appropriate to fake sneeze on the mail. Especially when it is following me asking "if you are feeling better" knowing that you have been sick for over a week. Because now I am not going to just take the mail out of your hands as you sit there holding it for me to do so. I will let it sit in all it's germie goodness on the counter until I can spray it with Lysol. Your "let me share my germs" fake sneeze was not humorous, lets not let that happen again shall we?

Your just got over her own germs Friend.

This can feel very liberating...go ahead. Give it a try!

1 comment:

Myya said...

I love doing these! Definitely something nice about getting it off your chest. Oh yeah & your hubby is gross! :)

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